Summertime

The living has never been easy. Currently, I am getting ready to head to a family wedding in Illinois (Danny’s family). I’ve recently been helping out with my parents as my mother recovers from shoulder surgery. I have conflicting thoughts of gratitude and frustration regarding the lack of control I have over my time. But that is not entirely accurate. I choose how to spend my time and it is flexible enough for me to be present for those I love (thus, the gratitude). When I am able to be in my own home, working, I get frustrated at my own lack of action on creative work. I have thought about getting screened for ADHD. I do not think I want any chemicals, but cognitive behavioral strategies would be welcome. Or maybe this discussion is entirely a deflection from the pre-grief I feel ~ which is also causing a block? I am of many minds. Like the blackbird. Unlike the sheep. (Who am I to assert the unity of a sheepmind? I am no one.)